A Fresh Start

So here we are, several weeks now into the summer break, and I am beginning to prepare for NEXT year. Don't ever let anyone tell you teachers don't work in the summer. Next school year will bring with it a change in the classes I teach. The State of Texas in their infinite wisdom has just redone all of the TEKS, which are the standards or skills we need to teach, for all of the Career and Technology courses. With the redo also comes new NAMES for all of the classes. No course was spared.

Have you ever noticed that all educators speak in acronyms? I just told you what TEKS are, not to be confused with TAKS and the new EOC's (both tests). The Career and Technology(CTE) courses for high school in Texas are no exception. Last year I taught BCIS--that is Business Computer Information Systems, which everyone just called by the acronym. BCIS has now gone away replaced by either PIT or BIM, which stand for Principles of Information Technolgy and Business Information Management respectively. I know-this is highly thrilling information. Next year I have been assigned to teach Digital Interactive Media, you guessed it, DIM, and I think I will rename it "Digital Interactive Media With Integrated Technology" because I have always dreamed of teaching a class called DIMWIT. But I digress.

Turns out DIM is basically a year of Photoshop. Just one problem--I have never used Photoshop. So I am spending the summer taking classes in Photoshop so I can at least have a basic understanding of it before I get to teach it (and my district wonders why we have so many ineffective teachers). Luckily, I am open to change and I like to learn new software and evidently I am the lucky guinea pig.

So I have started my summer Photoshop class, which is online and self paced, which means I can look like an idiot and yell at my computer in the privacy of my own home. This class is not hard--it is Level 1 so basically we spent the whole first lesson opening and closing files and changing the Views. Zzzz. I learn about pixels and vector versus raster graphics and I vaguely recall having learned this to pass one of my certification tests. All the technical stuff--no problem. Then we get to the design stuff. Let me mention that I was the art student who was always put into the "slow" group and had to draw and redraw still lifes of branches. Let me also mention that I am the auction volunteer that sets up a table, and then has to have someone else come behind her to "style" the table. I have absolutely no sense of design or artistic talent. I begin to get very worried. I should also mention that this is a career preparation course I am teaching--meaning we get to talk about careers as a graphic designer, photographer, advertiser, and animator, evidently. Have I EVER mentioned my background is in BANKING???? I do spreadsheets. This is so far outside the box for me that it is in the next state. Sigh. I am afraid for Lesson 4. Colorwheels.

My only saving grace--the other teacher that teaches DIM is a graphic designer, is a master at what he does, and can teach this in his sleep. I have been given the advice "just let him take the lead and do whatever he tells you to do". Well-I am very good at following directions. Just not so good at being told what to do! So this coming year promises to be a challenge for me. Something new--a fresh start! I hope I am ready for the challenge.

The Year Is Over!

My first full year of teaching is over and I helped line up and march through our 640graduates on sunday afternoon. I could tell you it has been a fun and easy year but it hasn't. New superintendent, new principal, new everything this year it seems made for a very stressful year. But I made it! I've spent a lot of time griping about the bad things and talking about the problems. So I will dedicate THIS post to the successes!

My Junior Achievement group in 5th period--oh how I will miss you! You are the group I got to practice on, like my first baby. Boy, how it paid off. A trophy at Trade Fair and the big Company of the Year Award at the banquet a few weeks ago. Achiever of the year Award too! Watching you take you practical final, where you had to form a company, create a product, and produce an annual report all in an hour and a half was priceless. Sunday I watched Soroush, Fount, Mona, Jenny, Sandra and Kim get their diplomas. I cried because they are all MY children now.

A few BCIS students will always stick in my mind. Carolina--you may have been shy and never talked, but you always gave 110% and it paid off with a perfect 100 the second semester! Trevor--you always kept me honest and corrected me when I was wrong, at least once a class period. Mikel-you will make a great engineer. Thank you for your curiosity, and your daily updates about the top stories on CNN when you were supposed to be working on your classwork. "Zach and Cody"--nicknamed such because he strongly resembles those twins on "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody"--I inherited you because you were a problem in someone elses classroom. The real problem was you were smarter than the teacher! Thank you for ALWAYS keeping me on my toes! My sweet, sweet ESL class 6th period--I finally gave in and let you do your final presentations mostly in Spanish about your home countries. I will never forget Emma from Nigeria, in full Nigerian dress, explaining about the horrors she left in her home country and her immigration to the United States. I will never take my life for granted again. And Mel-oh Mel. I didn't think you were going to make it, Mel. A Katrina kid with so many hardships. Problems containing yourself in class all year. You stuck in out, you passed, and you gave me a big hug the last day and said "I love you Mrs. Clayton" and made me cry.

And to Damian, Damian the flirt who asked me to dance at Prom, Damian the cheerful pill in the classroom, Damian who discovered last Friday that he would not walk in graduation with his class due to a missing science credit. Damian who I sat with my arm around consoling while his class was rehearsing for graduation. Damian--I will be there in August when you DO make it like I promised you. Don't let me down.

My first children--you have grown up and flown the nest! I have learned from you and you have made me a better teacher! Have a great summer all!

The Nonteaching parts of being a Teacher, or We just want to have FUN!

It is a rough time to be a teacher in the United States. You can not turn on the news without hearing about teacher layoffs somewhere. California, Illinois, Texas. Our district has a new superintendent and with a new superintendent comes changes. We are now in the middle of some major reorganization and the dreaded "RIF" or reduction in force. Also, not a day goes by that our district is not on the local news. Just part of working for the largest urban district in the nation I guess.

All of these changes have come at a cost. Employee morale is not good. Everyone is frustrated. Rumors abound.

This does not sound unlike the banking world I left two years ago :)

Today was not a good day. If I have a bad day, it is almost always on a Thursday. My Thursday starts with two meetings and it is a block schedule day and I do not have an off period. I have after school duty. Today I left school immediately from duty to go to a 2 hour inservice at the district headquarters. So my school day was 12 hours long. I was in a bad mood and snapped at the students all day long. Nodobdy wanted to do their work because it wasn't FUN. I understand--it is very hard to make a computerized training module to prepare for a Microsoft Certification FUN. Where in the world have students gotten this idea that EVERYTHING should be fun? I spent 20 years in banking and MOST of it wasn't fun!

By the time I got to my inservice I was also not having fun. Grumble grumble I did NOT get into teaching to go to meetings! I like the FUN part of teaching--which is the TEACHING. Oh--and the students. The inservice was happening on the same evening as the monthly school board meeting. Really heavy controversial stuff on the agenda tonight so a crowded parking lot and every TV station in town.

So I got home and did something I have NEVER EVER done--I turned on the school district channel (yes you from small towns--we have our own TV channel)and WATCHED the end of the board meeting. After all the business at the very end the public can come and make comments about ANYTHING for 3 minutes. Tonight--there were four speakers about Pop Tarts for breakfast (all against). Who knew there was such public interest in Pop Tarts? But what did catch my interest among all the politics were the very real parents, students, and employees who obviously care so much about our educational system to come and sit for 4 hours to have their three minutes. Not a one of them spoke about having fun. They all have real world, serious BORING issues to deal with. If you call bullying, losing jobs, and the state of school cafeteria food boring. Not fun at all.

My lesson today wasn't fun and I wasn't fun and I wasn't even a very good teacher today. My students, parents, and co-workers deserve better. But I think that the expectation that somehow the schools are NOT the real world and we as teachers should be blamed if our lessons aren't always "fun" is incorrect. The real world is not always fun. How are we teaching our students to cope with real world challenges if the expectation is that there is never conflict or boredom? How do we better prepare our secondary students for life beyond the school walls? What happens the first time they put down their heads down and take a nap on the job because "I don't want to do this--it is boring". Maybe we should start with our own behavior first!

Hurry, Hurry, STOP

Hurried, hurried rushed day.

Let me start by saying--this was actually a good day. Except for 7th period. By 7th period, I am tired. My off period is 1st. This is not a good off period for a morning person. My 7th period class is also , shall we say CHALLENGING. No, lets face it--they are slightly MORE than challenging. Every seat full when everyone is there. Today--everyone was there. And today in BCIS we are doing one of the hardest lessons of the year--Excel formulas and functions, and explaining absolute and relative cell references. We have about 12 pages in the book to get through in 45 minutes.

All is going well in the land of formulas and functions. It is one of those days when we are blowing and going EVERY period right up until the bell rings. Let me also explain--because I am off 1st period, I spend 2nd period "practicing" my lesson. Poor 2nd period. I get better in 3rd. I am amazing by 4th. Then I have lunch and a different class all together for 5th, so I get out of my groove. 6th period--bless them, requires me to slow down to snail speed. We never quite get done in 6th period! Grr--I want to get done! So here comes 7th. Loud, noisy, BIG 7th. And I am really tired of teaching formulas and functions by now.

7th period decides we will have one of those days when we just question EVERYTHING. LOUDLY. Without raising hands. We also think we already KNOW everything there is to know about formulas and functions, because after all, we talked about that FRIDAY (for 5 minutes). Mrs. Clayton is getting more and more fed up by the minute, especially when she has a limited amount of time to get through everything. Hurry, hurry. Mrs. Clayton looks at the clock and realizes she has 5 more minutes and two more concepts to get through before the bell rings. Unfortunately, her class also realizes there is 5 more minutes and instead of listening and following along, begins to log off the computers and shut their books. And talk to their neighbors. LOUDLY. All oblivious to the fact that Mrs. Clayton is still teaching an AWESOME lesson about formulas and functions! So Mrs. Clayton gets angry, throws a teacher hissy fit, and refuses to let them out of the classroom when the bell rings. She actually stands in front of the door so they can't leave until they do what she has asked them to do (put away books in proper location, pick up papers, save their work). In reality, she releases them approximately 1 minute late. This after being told by one student that it was his "constitutional right" to leave when the bell rang (same student who felt it was his "constitutional right" to attend a pep rally despite being told "no" earlier in the year). NOWHERE in the Consitution does it mention bells OR pep rallies, so I think I am pretty safe in the assumption that I am within my rights. So when Mrs. Clayton finally DOES let her angry 7th period out of the classroom Mrs. Clayton is ALSO angry and not in the mood to see any more of her darling students any more today!

Enter one of said darling students from 6th period-bless them. She is here to take a make up test after school. She is sweet, shy, special needs, and trying to graduate on time. I am the final class she has to pass to graduate. She is not passing. After spending a long time staring at the test, she asks me if she can come another day--this is too hard and she doesn't understand it. No-she has to take the test today--the grading period ended and I must have the grade in for report cards Wednesday. I am a little short with her since I have had such a bad 7th period, see above. Also, I am in a hurry. I have been in hurry mode ALL DAY, and I want her to HURRY and finish her test so I can get it in the gradebook!

I look up and see her face. It is bewildered. She spends a lot of time looking bewildered. I breathe. I stop. So for the next hour and a half--yes, hour and a half--I go and sit right next to her, read her the test out loud, and coax her through it. She KNOWS how to do the test. She just does not have confidence that she knows how to do it and is afraid to do something wrong. She gets a 91! By this time--I am almost in tears--her face lights up when I show her the grade--and she says I NEVER GOT A 91 ON A TEST BEFORE!

I kind of forgot about 7th period now.

Who else is sitting in my classroom that never got a 91 on a test before because she didn't think she could? Who else am I writing off because he has never passed, and I think he never will? What am I missing be being in a hurry? What are my students missing?

Tomorrow--another day......I think we'll slow down :)

Distractions

It has been a week-actually several weeks-of "distractions". The distractions began with possibly the BIGGEST distraction-our principal left very suddenly (overnight)leading to rumors, anger, more rumors, sadness, more rumors, meetings, happy hours to say goodbye, meet and greets to say hello (new principal). Just exhausting. Oh-and yes, I still teach there AND have a child who is a student there so I got to be exhausted as a staff member and exhausted as a parent. Distractions.

Distraction number two which has nothing to do with my professional life-I was fired via e-mail from a volunteer job. Then I was unfired. Then I think, but I'm not sure, I was fired again. Maybe. LONG story, still ongoing. Rumors. "I heard that..." phone calls. Trying to explain things to deaf ears. Having decisions made that have an effect on me, without my input. Distractions.

Distraction numbers three through six-a controversy. An investigation. A paranoid parent. Having to explain myself and being cautioned "NOT" to explain myself. Being a teacher is a hard job? You betcha!

So we have all had weeks like this.

In the middle of all of these distractions--I take a look at my students. Now-anyone who has EVER been a teenager knows that being a teenager is a series of distractions. Who is wearing what, who is going out with who, who broke up with who, who said something about you, where is the rumored fight going to be, can I get a ride to the fight, what is for lunch, is the new principal going to make us wear uniforms. Some have even more serious distractions-an ill parent, having to work at two jobs after school to support a family, someone in the family going to jail. So amidst ALL of these distractions, they have a job to do, which is go to school and do their work and learn something. And teachers EXPECT this to occur in spite of all of these distractions. Being a high school student is a hard job? You betcha!

So we are all the same. The distractions will always be there. What to do? How to cope? I don't have the answers. But it has helped me to see that I am going to have successes in the classroom and failures that have to do with outside forces beyond my control. Change is inevitable. Distractions are inevitable. It is how I react to those changes and cope with all of those distractions that influences my teaching. Learning, still learning........

The Ones You Can't Help

As a teacher, I have had to face the fact that there are just those kids you can't help. You can try, get sad, get mad, try more, and get intervention. So these are my failures:

The kid who two weeks ago threatened to "shoot me between the eyes like he did his neighbor's dog" if I did not pass him. This kid is 15. He had a 48 in my class at the time. A peek at his grades showed he was failing almost every class. This kid has pestered, called me names, called his classmates names, and generally been a pill, besaides not doing his work. The sad thing to me is: just the week before, he had come up to my desk and asked if I could give hime "easier work" because these assignments were "too hard". I asked why he thought they were too hard and it boiled down to he couldn't really read. I went through a project step by step with him, he did it, and he got an 80. This kid isn't coded learning disabled, and he is in 10th grade and couldn't read me simple directions. Then the next week he threatens me. I wrote him up, cops came and took him away, and I haven't seen him again. Today I got his withdraw notice. Did I just doom this kid? Did I help this kid? I don't know. I may not ever know. That's a failure.

The girl, smart girl, with the lip piercings, tatoos, and gutter mouth that I have vowed to turn into a lady if it kills me. It may yet kill me. Today I had a substitute and she made the very young substitute cry because she was trying to help her and the girl called her a bitch. If I leave them with a substitute and they turn into animals, what does that say about me as a teacher? A failure.

The boy who won't do any work. Ever. He got a 5% in my class last six weeks. You have to try very hard not to do any work to get a 5%. He can spend an entire class period doing nothing. I have six pages of notes on him that basically say "nothing works". How can he get to be 16 years old and sit for hours in a class and do nothing? I have 27 other kids in that class and can't give this kid the one on one attention he needs to do his work. That's a failure.

So, today my team mates and I spent the whole day doing curriculum planning while our classes had subs. 8 hours of arguing and arguing more and actually getting SOMETHING accomplished, but when you are in a team of four, there is always some discord. At 3:15 I go back to my now empty room and read the notes from the sub about how LITTLE my students had actually done today. Okay, in all fairness--4 out of the 6 classes actually worked. The other two acted like idiots. This is enough to make anyone depressed. So at 4:00 (early for me) I have decided I had enough and troop downstairs to sign out. I am greated by the Principal and School Improvement Facilitator. Remember, I am depressed and I am a failure this week.

The principal writes a Monday newsletter to staff, which curiously we get on Tuesdays, but is still called the Monday newsletter by all. The Monday/Tuesday Newsletter this week mentioned a teacher who, when faced with a student who did not turn ina major project, said "we both missed the boat here" interpretted to mean when my students don't turn in projects, I AM TO BLAME. Remember--I am a FAILURE.
Therefore, I mention to the principal that he had added another degree of guilt to my already heightened degree of FAILURE. He got very quiet. Then I asked him for help on suggestions for getting students MOTIVATED, see story of "boy who will do no work" above, to actually do projects.

Thirty minutes later, I was still in his office. Actually, I was getting a lesson on how to teach English and break a research report into managable steps instead of just assigning "write a research a paper". But in the midst of that, I finally realized--I am NOT a failure. I am NOT the only teacher these kids have ever or will ever have. I will NOT always have good teaching days. Some days I will be a FAILURE. I am not a good teacher unless I have those failures and change because of it, and learn from others. I can't do this if I don't continually change and learn from my mistakes.

So tomorrow, I will sign that withdraw notice and try not to dwell, I will still try to turn Ms. Lip Piercing/Tatoo/Gutter Mouth into a lady, and MAYBE that "I won't do anything" boy will come back from being suspended yet again and miraciously sit down and do some work. Or maybe he won't. But I will still keep trying.

Connections in High School-or how important they still are 30 years later

Wow-has it really been August 9 since I last posted? Time flies when you are having fun, or in my case, when you roldest leaves for college, your youngest starts driving, and you begin your first full year of teaching and SIX CLASSES that are your own, from start to finish. One of them I would like to trade in, but that is for another post.

I was inspired this week by another event--my birthday. What was so unusual--maybe not so anymore--I received only ONE birthday card in the mail and TWO phone calls (my mother and my mother in law); TWO e-cards.....and FIFTY-SEVEN birthday wishes on Facebook! Wow-I've never ever received fifty seven birthday cards. But 57 people stopped to tell me happy birthday on Facebook! Some of them I haven't even seen for 30 years--since high school.

This got me thinking--the relationships we form in high school are so important to us that we are now 30 years later "friending" them on Facebook. So the students sitting in my classroom fliritng with the cute girl acroos from them while I am trying to teach and making them BE QUIET will maybe in 30 years still be communicating with each other--on some sequel to Facebook; probably something implanted in their ears.

At the six week mark this year I decided my students were getting a little TOO comfortable with their seatmates and switched everyone around. Okay teachers--we really know this is so you can move the bad kids right up next to you, but you have to move EVERYONE to make it fair.

Today I did my first group assignment in a while and let them choose a partner or a group of three. Almost without fail, they all went BACK to their original seats and whomever was sitting next to them at the start of school. Hmm. Should I have left them? Evidently they formed a bond.

So I look at my Facebook friend list--specifically the growing group from my high school days. Oh yes--I sat next to him in Geometry. And I sat next to her in English-10th grade. Meistersingers--the singing group I was in 11th and 12th--don't even get me started. I can still tell you who sat on BOTH sides of me, both years. All boys(maybe that is why I remember). Two of them--still my good buddies today (Kelly and Chester)--and my Facebook friends!

So here's to ALL of the people we sit next to in high school, who 30 years later remember to tell us Happy Birthday. Maybe I won't move my kids around so much!